Alyssa's Breastfeeding Story

This breastfeeding story comes from Alyssa. Alyssa had two different journeys breastfeeding her sons and learned some valuable life lessons!

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When our first son was born, it was my goal to breastfeed for 6 months. I was certain I wouldn’t want to go beyond that and would happily relinquish feeding duty to his dad at that time. Well, I breastfed our first son until he was 17 months old. Aside from the usual aches, pains, and learning curves, it was a pretty easy journey. He latched right away, my milk came in right on time, and before I knew it I could feed him while simultaneously folding laundry or cooking dinner. Despite intermittently feeling like a human pacifier, I really enjoyed our breastfeeding journey and was all sorts of emotional when my son decided he was done out of the blue one day. I had been a slight over-supplier so I was able to donate about 80 ounces I had left over to a baby that had been adopted. The whole journey felt so great, I would dare say perfect, so when I got pregnant with our second baby I expected the same thing. 

Insert sarcastic laughter here.*

Our second son came into this world thinking everything would be given to him with minimal effort on his part. He had a lazy latch, he lost nearly 10% of his body weight by 3 days old, his bilirubin was borderline, and my milk trickled in slowly which resulted in us nearly having to supplement with formula. Gasp! Supplementing was absolutely not an option in my mind at the time so I shoved my toddler over to my husband and breastfed nearly 24/7 for the next 2 days in an attempt to fix everything. Which I did. I was thrilled when our son’s weight surpassed his birth weight and his bilirubin levels returned to normal within a week of delivery. I thought the worst was behind us until a white-coated tongue reared its ugly head and our sweet babe was diagnosed with thrush. For 5 weeks, I gave him oral nystatin 4 times per day and applied clotrimazole cream to my nipples after every single feed. I sterilized all of my pump equipment and washed everything that came in touch with my breastmilk on a daily basis. I remember thinking to myself that I’d rather have mastitis because it’d be easier to treat. So when the aching and redness started, I laughed and cursed at myself. Our little guy had a tongue tie, so we had that revised and I finished antibiotics and was back to normal for a few days. And then the body aches and redness came back with a vengeance. 

Since his birth 5 months ago, I have had 7 bouts of mastitis resulting in multiple antibiotics, 2 mammograms, decreased milk supply, and the seemingly dreaded necessity to supplement with formula. This decision came with so much anxiety, feelings of guilt, and lots of tears. I felt like a failure. I spend portions of my day working in healthcare telling moms that “fed is best”, but I couldn’t accept that myself. My loving, supportive, encouraging husband assured me that I was doing such a great job; that supplementing was not a sign of failure. I have successfully built my supply back up since this most recent bout of mastitis but we continue to supplement because our son seems to be a bottomless pit. I am so glad I continue to provide for him, but I am also happy that my husband can tag in and give him a bottle from time to time so that I can spend more time with our toddler or get a stretch of sleep once in a blue moon. 

This breastfeeding journey has been nothing compared to my first. It has come with different forms of growth, a different appreciation for the challenges that cause mothers to quit breastfeeding, a deeper sense of satisfaction in overcoming obstacle after obstacle, and letting go of the plans I made and going with the flow instead. At the end of the day, I am just as proud of this journey as I am of my first, even if I am unable to breastfeed as long as I did previously. By sharing my story, it is my hope that any woman who reads it feels accomplished no matter what her story is. Though each story is unique, every woman should feel proud of bringing a life into the world and making the often tough decisions necessary to ensure her child is happy and healthy. Because we may not be perfect, but we are exactly what our children need. And sometimes we forget how incredibly amazing we are.

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What do you think about Alyssa’s story? We think she is amazing! Thanks for sharing Alyssa!

Did you face the possibility of supplementing or formula feeding your baby due to issues with breastfeeding? How did you work through that decision? Let us know in the comments below!

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Would you like to share your breastfeeding story on our blog? Submit it here!

Overcoming Tongue, Lip, and Buccal Ties in Breastfeeding

Our story this week comes from Courtney! Courtney has nursed four babies and faced some pretty touch complications with each! She was persistent in seeking help and providing the best for her kids! Read on to hear her story!

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I’m a momma of 4 precious babies (6, 4, 3, and 7 months) and my breastfeeding journey started back in 2014 with my oldest daughter. I had her in July of 2014 with the full intention to have the most magical breastfeeding journey. Well in the hospital I had a very hard time getting her to latch and when we came home I struggled and cried A LOT wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn’t get her to latch. I ended up nursing her with a shield and worked with a lactation consultant but nothing was getting better. She then refused to nurse without the shield, refused every bottle and sippy cup. She was considered failure to thrive at 6 months old and I felt like the one thing that I should have been able to do I failed at. We were in feeding therapy and it was a very difficult year. 

Then came my second daughter....I was so determined to nurse her successfully without a shield. Again she couldn’t latch and by 12 weeks in I had gotten mastitis 3 times and thrush twice. The worst case of thrush my pediatrician and lactation consultant had ever seen! They sent me to another lactation consultant who diagnosed her with a tongue and lip tie. We had her revised and I successfully nursed her for 15 months. 

My third daughter was born and I saw my amazing lactation consultant when she was 5 days old and she was diagnosed with tongue, lip, and buccal ties. She successfully nursed and unlike my other two girls who were little string beans she was CHUNKY!! I had never felt so successful and like my persistence paid off. 

We had our fourth and final baby in May of this year. Our little boy and again he was also diagnosed with tongue and lip tie where we revised the day after he was born. He is a thriving, chunky, happy baby. I’m hoping to nurse him as long as he allows me but I couldn’t think of a better way to honor my journey then to preserve my milk that I fought so extremely hard for. I also now work for the lactation consultant who helped me with my babies. I absolutely adore her and I'm so thankful for her! 

To my new mom friends I tell them breastfeeding is the most unnatural natural thing you’ll ever do in your life! It’s so beautiful but the journey doesn’t go without bumps in the road. I will treasure this ring forever!

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What do you think about Courtney’s story? We think she did awesome at finding help and then later on working to help others! Thanks for sharing Courtney!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it here!

Andrea's Breastfeeding Story

Our story this week comes from Andrea. Andrea had a rough beginning to breastfeeding, had several bouts of mastits, and handeled some rough food allergies with her little ones, but she pushed through and worked hard to do what she felt was best for her babies!

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The strange thing about having a baby is, you don't even realize how difficult it is, until it's in the past!  At least that's the way it has always been for me.  Everytime I am asked about my breastfeeding journey with my two girls, the first thing that comes to mind is "it was easy!" But when I really sit down and think about it, I realize it wasn't easy. Not at all. It was actually really hard. The more I sit and type out my story, the more I realize how very challenging it was, and why many, many people told me I should give up. But I never did. My mama heart knew I wanted to keep going. So I pushed through, despite all the setbacks.

My first daughter, Lucy, was born in March of 2016. Leading up to her birth and all throughout my pregnancy with her, I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. It was never really a question for me.  I did all the textbook things to prepare for my breastfeeding journey with her - took a class at the hospital, bought the books, ordered a pump, stocked up on supplies like lanolin. I was ready!  Once Lucy was born, the nurses handed her to me and put her right on my chest. As she was born in a nursing friendly hospital, the nurses immediately encouraged me to try nursing! I was ready! Lucy had her own agenda though. She wasn't really latching properly (if at all) and we spent a good hour and a half trying to get her to latch, before my husband even held her for the first time. Although she wasn't doing so great, I knew we had much more time to perfect the process so I didn't worry too much. Over the next few days in the hospital, the nurses and lactation consultants came in and helped me to get it right. It was going ok, but by the time we were discharged to go home, my nipples were SO sore and cracked and bleeding. Over the next several weeks, everytime Lucy would latch, I would have toe cringing pain. I had her pediatrician check her for tongue and lip ties but he didn't see any. In hindsight, I wish we had seen a specialist about this because the pain of nursing did not go away until about 6 weeks. However, that wasn't the only issue I would encounter.

When Lucy was 3 weeks old, I took her for a check up at her pediatrician's office. I was excited, feeling confident about her growth and happy to be a new mom. On the way home I decided to stop at Target to grab a few supplies. As I was shopping, I distinctly remember starting to not feel very well. By the time I reached the checkout, I was sure that I had a fever and my left breast was starting to feel achy and hot. When I got back to my car, I took a peek down in my shirt and noticed that I had a large red spot surrounding half my left breast. I immediately knew it was mastitis. I called my doctor and they asked me some questions. They didn't need to see me in the office because they knew what it was too. The doctor called me in a prescription and gave me some tips for what to do. Unfortunately, my body didn't respond to the general antibiotic that was prescribed and I spent the next three days with a really high fever, honestly feeling like I might die from it. Though I continued to try to nurse from the left side, no milk was coming out whatsoever. I was so engorged, in pain and uncomfortable. I tried hot compresses, cold compresses, cabbage leaves, nursing and pumping. Yet still nothing would come out.  If I managed to get a few drops out, it was green color and not the consistency of milk at all. The pain when I tried to nurse was excruciating to the point where I was sobbing. It was terrible. Finally I called the doctor again after my husband's urging, and they scheduled me to come in.  The doctor said this was one of the worst cases of mastitis he had ever seen. He also felt a lump in one of the ducts and was worried I might have developed a cyst, so he referred me to a specialist for an ultrasound of my breast.  The ultrasound went well and it was determined that I would not need any surgery or cyst removal. I was switched to a different antibiotic and immediately things started to improve. However, the long term results of this bout of mastitis meant a drastic decrease in supply from my left breast.  

During the first three months of Lucy's life, I got mastitis a total of three times. Nothing was as bad as that first time, but each time resulted in fever and antibiotics. Each time my supply was cut. Eventually after the third bout, I didn't have any supply left and had to nurse exclusively from my right side breast. Yet, I still persevered.

Ironically, it was also around this time (3 months old) that I started to notice Lucy's discomfort when nursing. She would arch her back and scream at the breast. After consulting with the pediatrician and doing several tests on her, it was determined that Lucy had a dairy protein intolerance. The doctor recommended that I discontinue eating anything with dairy or soy until she hopefully outgrew the allergy. I stocked up on all the food that would fit into this new plan for me, and went with it. After a few weeks, Lucy hadn't improved much. The doctor recommended phasing out other food groups every few weeks until I noticed an improvement. Next was gluten, then eggs then nuts. FINALLY, Lucy seemed better while I was nursing her. It wasn't much fun for me because I was limited to eating mainly meat, rice, veggies and fruit. My meals looked the same every day because there was so much I couldn't enjoy. But never once did I stop and consider using formula.  I don't think anything is wrong with formula (after all, fed is best!) but I just didn't even entertain it as an option for us. The sacrifices I had to make felt natural and I was so confident in my decision. Looking back on it 4 years later, I realize that this is just what mamas do for their babies. 

Lucy eventually outgrew her allergies and self weaned from nursing around a year. I was sad when the journey ended but proud of how many obstacles we had overcome.

Fast forward 3 years, and Lucy's sister Piper was born. Much of Lucy and Piper's stories are the same. Piper was quicker to latch, but I still felt pain for the first several weeks. I developed mastitis in the left breast 4 times with Piper. Each time I had to take antibiotics. By the end of the 4th round, my supply was again gone, and it was clear that I would only be able to nurse on the right side. Piper also had the same allergies that Lucy did, so I again gave up many food groups so that I could continue nursing her. She is now 14 months, and we are still going strong!

I never knew how much I would appreciate and love being a breastfeeding mother. The bond that I feel with each of my babies is indescribable. When Piper was born and I was dealing with the chaos of a toddler and baby, I loved the quiet moments where I would sit and nurse Piper peacefully. It was the calm and stillness of those moments that I will always remember the most.  When Piper occasionally wakes in the night to nurse, I sit in the rocking chair with her and still cherish our sweet time together.  Breastfeeding has changed me for the better, and I am so glad I was able to fulfill my dreams of nursing my babies.

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What do you think about Andrea’s story? We think she overcome some tough obstacles and did an amazing job at breastfeeding! Thanks for sharing Andrea!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it here!

Macy's Breastfeeding Journey with D-MER

Our breastfeeding story this week comes from reader Macy Nall. She shares her story of pumping and nursing and her experience of intense and overwhelming emotions that lead to her discovering she had D-MER, Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. D-MER is classified as “a condition affecting lactating women that is characterized by an abrupt dysphoria, or negative emotions, that occur just before milk release and continuing not more than a few minutes” - D-MER.org.

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Approximately 730 hours. Give or take 19,000 ounces.

I didn’t expect to know exact numbers, but I also didn’t expect to keep a pump log counting down the date I could quit.

It’s really crazy when I think back on my pregnancy; how I prayed for my breastfeeding journey. I remember confiding in one of my best friends “man the only thing (aside from a healthy baby) I’m worried about is his hair and my ability to produce milk”. I was terrified my milk supply wouldn’t suffice...and that he would be bald. I thought as long as God gives me the milk, and Calvin some hair, I can make things shake after that. I didn’t think much else would stand in our way.

Man did breastfeeding have a lot to teach me.

The first time I felt “the feeling” was also the first time I pumped. I chalked it up to stress from Calvin being in the NICU, the insane hormones from birth, and just trying to cope with all the changes happening. I fought through it, and told myself “it’ll pass”.

We started going through the motions of being NICU preemie parents and I realize “the feeling” happened every. single. time. I pumped.

Anxiety

Despair

Disgust

Then milk.

Feelings gone.

It was to the point I KNEW my let down was starting in 60 seconds after the feeling began. I realized these intense feelings and my let downs were correlated. I told myself once Calvin was home and latched it would stop...it HAD to be because I was using pumps. Right?

Calvin was discharged and I realized getting him to latch would be no easy feat. When we weren’t playing battle of the boob and he actually nursed there was no change.

Same feelings.

Same intensity.

Okay, so I’m a freak? Great.

I could literally be mid laugh with Danny, then get my let down going and BAM! It’s instant, nothing feels right. I feel almost disgusted with myself, emotions that are too intense for what is happening. Then, it’s gone. Almost like it was never there. Just leaving me confused and convinced I was crazy.

Near the four month mark my postpartum anxiety was at its peak and the feeling was even more pervasive. I dreaded pumping. Talking to someone helped me push through the feeling, yet I didn’t want to be around people. A conundrum. And I felt stuck in it.

One evening, during my middle of the night pump, I had enough. There had to be someone on the internet that’s felt like this. So I typed “sadness and milk let down”. I scroll past the first two ads, then see Le Leche League mention something about overwhelming emotions before a milk letdown. Then I see a few blogs.. then some .org sites, then a few academic articles, and then there it is. A name. D-MER. Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. Sounds crazy right?

Turns out it’s not. When our bodies produce milk our dopamine levels must lower to increase our prolactin levels (what makes the milk). Generally the fall in dopamine goes undetected, the mother never even knows it’s happening. But for some this drop is detectable by overwhelming negative emotions. It has nothing to do with the act of breastfeeding, but more the act of milk releasing. It’s like when the doctor tests your reflexes...it doesn’t matter what you’re doing when he hits you, the reflex is the same, your knee jerks. Same goes for the milk ejection reflex. It doesn’t matter if you’re actually trying to pump or nurse, or if you’re walking around, when the milk is ejected the feelings are unavoidable.

This was all information overload to me. I was so excited. I felt like I had a breakthrough. I woke Danny up and attempted to explain this science to him at 4 in the morning. On my hunt for new information about this physiological phenomenon I joined a Facebook group. I read all the different emotions and different intensities these women experience...I was so glad to not be alone. Then I started thinking…If I had not reached my wits end and started researching, I would have never known. My lactation consultant didn’t warn me to watch out for this, no one in my birthing class went over the symptoms, my pediatrician didn’t give me a D-MER checklist at our 2 month appointment. As I read over other stories, aside from the feelings, another common denominator was NO ONE had heard of it. Not their OB, not the pediatrician, not even most of their lactation consultants.

I wonder how many mothers this is happening to that don't even realize it’s a real thing? How many mothers attempt to nurse but are over come with this negative funk and think they’re crazy, or it’s postpartum issues being made worse by breastfeeding or how many women push through and feed but suffer in silence because they don’t even know this thing has a name.

This journey has taught me a lot. Our bodies are so intricate...and still misunderstood! Everybody’s journey is unique, but we’re never alone! If you ask God to provide, He will deliver (hello over-producer)! Zip-lock bags work better than breast milk storage bags. Lavender and Thieves oil work wonders for mastitis. Got a clog? Get your man to take one for the team. If you need to hand express, you better have good aim. Always keep a snack in your pumping bag! And document everything, you’ll be glad you did!

I’ve been going strong for 8 months. I’ve built up a freezer stash to last until he’s a year old. So that’s a wrap. Cue credits.

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What do you think about Macy’s story? We think her she’s pretty amazing and love her special photoshoot!

Macy held a special photoshoot for burning her breast pump once she met her goal! This is her celebration!

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Would you like to share your story on our blog? You can submit it here!