Milk + Honey

Extended Breastfeeding

Legend of the Boob: Common Myths and Truths About Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding, Extended Breastfeeding, ParentingMaria MengelComment

There are A LOT of breastfeeding myths out there. Sometimes they are enough to intimidate us into feeling defeated before we even start. Or, they’re enough to confuse us to the point where we question if we’re “doing it right.” Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be intimidating and confusing. We’re ready to tackle some of these myths and put your mind at ease! Keep reading to find out what WE think is the craziest myth of them all!


1. Breastfeeding is easy.

WRONG! While it is true that breastfeeding may have its conveniences, it is far from easy. It can come with its own challenges. Breastfeeding requires a lot of time and investment. It is said that on average a woman spends 1,800 hours breastfeeding in a year. It basically rivals a full time job, except with $0 salary. There also tends to also be a bit of a learning curve. It’s not something that comes naturally for everyone and work needs to be put in to foster a healthy breastfeeding relationship.

2. The size of your breast determines how much milk you produce.

NOPE! The size of your breast is determined by the amount of fatty tissue. Glandular tissue is what is responsible for milk storage and production. It includes the lobes that produce the milk and ducts that carry the milk. Small breasts do not equal insufficient glandular tissue. (Note: insufficient glandular tissue is a thing, but it is not characterized by breast size alone. Speak to your physician or a lactation consultant if this is a concern for you.)

3. You can’t eat certain foods.

NEGATIVE! Unless you find your baby has an allergy or intolerance, you do NOT need to change your diet. Just think of all the new foods, flavors, and nutrients you can expose your child to through your milk. You may find your baby gets more irritable with certain foods, but you don’t need to cut things out right from the start. Some exceptions to consider (for everyone really) are fish high in mercury, excessive caffeine, and alcohol.

4. Breastfeeding hurts.

WRONG-O! Yes, it’s true that you may feel some initial discomfort. Your nipples can be tender and your breasts engorged. However, any consistent and persisting pain should be evaluated by a lactation consultant to determine if there is a latch issue or something else underlying.

5. You can’t breastfeed when you’re sick.

FALSE…mostly. While there are certainly contraindications, for the most part, any minor illness you are fighting will produce and transfer antibodies to your baby through your breastmilk. You may have noticed, or will notice, a slight change in color with this milk. If you have concern about contact with baby during your illness, pumped milk will eliminate contact and still transfer antibodies for immunity. And of course, contact your physician with questions regarding specific illness and prescribed medications.

Check out the amazing difference between these two milks- one before a viral infection, and one during. Notice the change in color resembling higher antibody colostrum.

Image found at Parents.com.

6. If you can’t start right away, then you won’t be able to produce milk and breastfeed.

NEGATORY! If your baby is unable to latch right away, there are still things you can do to promote your milk supply! Skin to skin contact plays a key role in increasing hormones needed to produce. Keep your baby close as often as possible. Seeking out assistance from a lactation counselor to come up with an appropriate plan for pumping can also help get you started on the right track.

7. Milk “comes in” by day 3. If it doesn’t, you won’t be able to breastfeed.

FAKE NEWS! When your baby arrives, you are already producing colostrum. While many women report their milk “coming in” by day 3, for others it can take up to 5 days (or more.) The process can be very slow and gradual, and for others they may wake up one day completely engorged. There can be many factors that impact this feeling of fullness, including cesarean, iv fluids, pain medications used, length of labor, stress/birth trauma, blood loss, and retained placenta.

8. You have to wean your baby by age 1 or else they’ll never wean by themselves.

NO! Though sometimes it may feel never-ending, your child won’t go to college still breastfeeding. Promise. The average age of self weaning is between 2.5 and 4. Self weaning up to age 5, or longer, is still within a “normal” range. If self weaning is too much for you, then take on a mother-led, gentle weaning approach. You can read more about gentle weaning in previous blogs: links below.

9. Breastmilk after 1 year is “just for the mother” and has no benefit for the child.

UGH, NOOOOO! Breastmilk has no expiration date. It is constantly changing and adapting to suit your child’s needs. It does not stop being beneficial to your child on their first birthday, or by any date. The composition of breastmilk changes with your growing child, so at one year it has been found to have higher antibodies (think of those newly mobile kids putting everything in their mouths,) higher protein levels, and decreased carbohydrates. Don’t let anyone tell you it stops being beneficial at a certain time.

10. Breastfeeding is private and valuing and honoring your breastfeeding journey is WEIRD.

INCONCEIVABLE! You have spent countless hours along this journey. You’ve shared some incredibly beautiful and probably some incredibly difficult moments. Cherish them, honor them, and be proud of your accomplishments, no matter how smooth or ugly it may have been. Your precious memories preserved could look like this!

Alaina Leimbach, CLC (certified lactation counselor)

Office Administrator at Milk+Honey


What do you think of these common breastfeeding myths? Have you heard of any of these or have they played a role in your breastfeeding journey?


As a “thank you” for being an amazing supporter of Milk + Honey and reading to the bottom of this blog, we want to offer you a discount on anything in our collection! Please use code BLOG10 at checkout for 10% your order total.

Raquel's Story of Breastfeeding Rainbow Twins

Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Story, Extended BreastfeedingMaria MengelComment

Our story this week comes from Raquel. She shares her story of loss and then learning to breastfeed rainbow twins.

Breastfeeding Rainbow Twins Milk+Honey JewelryBreastfeeding Rainbow Twins Milk+Honey Jewelry

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. It is a deep sadness that I feel in my bones when I read that one in four women will lose a baby during pregnancy, delivery, or infancy. My husband and I lost 2 pregnancies prior to bringing our rainbow babies into the world. While these losses were heartbreaking, I am convinced that they made me into the mother I am today. I believe they taught me the resiliency I would need for breastfeeding and mothering my children.

milk and honey jewelry

After a challenging twin pregnancy, at 38 weeks, I gave birth via cesarean section to my two perfect little girls. While the doctors were stitching me back together, I was unable to hold my girls, but my husband would alternate bringing their sweet pink cheeks to mine. Finally, as they were about to roll me out of the OR and into the recovery room, the nurses helped to place them both on my chest. It was pure bliss. We would spend the next magical golden hour skin to skin in the recovery room and the girls instinctively knew how to find what they needed. I assumed this meant that breastfeeding would be simple for us. I was wrong. Breastfeeding my twin girls was physically exhausting, mentally taxing, and sometimes painful. It was also some of my favorite moments of motherhood, an incredible bonding experience with my daughters, and one of my proudest accomplishments.

Initially both babies were jaundiced and losing too much weight so it was recommended to start to give them some formula. I was determined to continue to try breastfeeding so a lactation consultant helped us figure out how to feed the girls with a tube and syringe system. This was quite the episode.  Ideally, we would have 3 adults present each time I attempted to breastfeed (every 2-3 hours). My husband would usually help me set up and hold the tube and syringe system while I tried to get the first baby to latch. Another person would hold the 2nd baby and try to keep her from screaming while she waited to be fed. We would then have to switch the babies and do it all a 2nd time. Finally, after both babies had eaten and fallen back asleep, I would pump to try to get my supply up. I was lucky if I could rest for 45 minutes before getting ready to do it all over again. To say it was exhausting, is a dramatic understatement. 
My husband was extremely encouraging and kept reminding me of how badly I wanted to be able to breastfeed, but on the 6th day of using the tube and syringe method, my milk had still not fully come in. I made a “one last effort” appointment with a lactation consultant for the next day. I decided that if things were not going smoothly by this appointment, I would switch to formula in bottles. By some magic, my milk came in fully on day 7. The lactation consultant showed me how to set myself up to tandem feed both babies at the same time, and support them with a bunch of pillows, blankets and burp cloths. Everything just kind of clicked for all 3 of us. Eventually I even figured out that with about 6 different pillows (breastfeeding and regular) and a couple of burp cloths I could set us all up and successfully tandem feed my twins all on my own. While at times, it was still uncomfortable or challenging, overall breastfeeding went well for us for the next few months.

breastfeeding twins

At 3 months, I went back to work full time. I would have to pump; however, the volume of milk that I needed to pump was ridiculously large to feed two babies. I actually pooled all my milk in a large insulated thermos instead of taking up space in the community fridge with half a dozen small bottles. Unfortunately, on more than 1 occasion, I had a hard time opening the thermos as the lid got stuck and had to ask for help opening it. I learned very quickly that I should have warned my coworker what the thermos was for when I saw the look of horror on her face when she realized what she was handling. It wasn’t because she thought it was gross, but because she fully understood how precious that liquid was. I was also lucky enough to be able to purchase a hands-free in bra pump. This was critical to my success with pumping as I was able to pump in the car driving to and from work and even at my desk. I still closed the door for privacy, but there was a time when I forgot to lock it. A coworker came in, had a conversation with me and left without even noticing that I was pumping! Things like the thermos, hands free pump and having a private office did make pumping at work logistically easier for me (and provided some funny moments); however, it was still so challenging mentally and physically. I hated pumping, and yet I still really loved our sweet quiet breast-feeding times first thing in the morning or right before bed.

breastfeeding twins

At 6 months, my supply started to dip and I needed to start supplementing with formula again. I continued to breastfeed as much as I could. By 9 months, I had a strong feeling of dread every time I had to pump at work and decided it was time to stop. My milk supply continued to drop, but I still breastfeed them a few times a day while also giving them food and formula as they needed.

I am so grateful to say that I was able to breastfeed to some extent until the girls were 17 months old. Unfortunately, we were not able to stop on our own terms. I developed a medical problem that required medication that I wasn’t allowed to breastfeed while taking. Prior to taking the first dose, I went home and had 1 last focused breastfeeding session with them. It was just me and my girls as we enjoyed the sweet, calm, special bonding moments for one last time. We closed out our breastfeeding journey and I reflected on how grateful I am for everything that led me to that moment. The loss of our first two babies in pregnancies that ended too soon. The support system that held me together during the most challenging time of my life. My loving husband and amazing father to our beautiful rainbow babies. And all the time, dedication, determination, and a lot of luck that was required throughout our breastfeeding journey.

Milk + Honey Necklace

Raquel’s Necklace is the Heirloom Milk+Honey(comb) Necklace in Yellow Gold. (The earrings are discontinued - SORRY!)

I now wear my Milk and Honey{comb} necklace as a reminder and symbol of this entire journey. Two cells have tiny gold flakes to represent our first two angel babies. Two other cells have pink flakes to represent our twin girls. There are a few cells left open to represent the openness to what the future may hold. For me, the honeycomb represents the support system that held me together and continues to support and help us raise our two daughters.

The other day, I took my now one and a half year old toddlers outside to see their first rainbow. I was brought back to Mother’s Day 2020 when I saw a huge double rainbow after taking a positive pregnancy test. I was cautiously hopeful for the future and what could be, but I couldn’t even have imagined that my double rainbow would end up being these two amazing little girls. I think back on how far we’ve come and everything we have overcome and I am honestly just in awe of our little family. Our breastfeeding journey was not simple. It involved tubes, syringes, pumping, bottles, lots of pillows and even more support from our “bee hive”. It was beautiful though, just like the rainbow arched over our backyard.

Breastfeeding Rainbow Twins Milk+Honey Jewelry
Breastfeeding Rainbow Twins Milk+Honey Jewelry

Raquel, thank you so much for sharing your story! You are amazing - overcoming all those obstacles!

What do you think of Raquel’s story? Would you like to share your breastfeeding story on our blog? Submit it here!

Alyssa's Breastfeeding Story

Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Story, Extended Breastfeeding, ParentingMaria Mengel1 Comment

This breastfeeding story comes from Alyssa. Alyssa had two different journeys breastfeeding her sons and learned some valuable life lessons!


When our first son was born, it was my goal to breastfeed for 6 months. I was certain I wouldn’t want to go beyond that and would happily relinquish feeding duty to his dad at that time. Well, I breastfed our first son until he was 17 months old. Aside from the usual aches, pains, and learning curves, it was a pretty easy journey. He latched right away, my milk came in right on time, and before I knew it I could feed him while simultaneously folding laundry or cooking dinner. Despite intermittently feeling like a human pacifier, I really enjoyed our breastfeeding journey and was all sorts of emotional when my son decided he was done out of the blue one day. I had been a slight over-supplier so I was able to donate about 80 ounces I had left over to a baby that had been adopted. The whole journey felt so great, I would dare say perfect, so when I got pregnant with our second baby I expected the same thing. 

Insert sarcastic laughter here.*

breastfeeding and oversupply

Our second son came into this world thinking everything would be given to him with minimal effort on his part. He had a lazy latch, he lost nearly 10% of his body weight by 3 days old, his bilirubin was borderline, and my milk trickled in slowly which resulted in us nearly having to supplement with formula. Gasp! Supplementing was absolutely not an option in my mind at the time so I shoved my toddler over to my husband and breastfed nearly 24/7 for the next 2 days in an attempt to fix everything. Which I did. I was thrilled when our son’s weight surpassed his birth weight and his bilirubin levels returned to normal within a week of delivery. I thought the worst was behind us until a white-coated tongue reared its ugly head and our sweet babe was diagnosed with thrush. For 5 weeks, I gave him oral nystatin 4 times per day and applied clotrimazole cream to my nipples after every single feed. I sterilized all of my pump equipment and washed everything that came in touch with my breastmilk on a daily basis. I remember thinking to myself that I’d rather have mastitis because it’d be easier to treat. So when the aching and redness started, I laughed and cursed at myself. Our little guy had a tongue tie, so we had that revised and I finished antibiotics and was back to normal for a few days. And then the body aches and redness came back with a vengeance. 

breastfeeding and oversupply

Since his birth 5 months ago, I have had 7 bouts of mastitis resulting in multiple antibiotics, 2 mammograms, decreased milk supply, and the seemingly dreaded necessity to supplement with formula. This decision came with so much anxiety, feelings of guilt, and lots of tears. I felt like a failure. I spend portions of my day working in healthcare telling moms that “fed is best”, but I couldn’t accept that myself. My loving, supportive, encouraging husband assured me that I was doing such a great job; that supplementing was not a sign of failure. I have successfully built my supply back up since this most recent bout of mastitis but we continue to supplement because our son seems to be a bottomless pit. I am so glad I continue to provide for him, but I am also happy that my husband can tag in and give him a bottle from time to time so that I can spend more time with our toddler or get a stretch of sleep once in a blue moon. 

breastfeeding and oversupply
breastfeeding and oversupply

This breastfeeding journey has been nothing compared to my first. It has come with different forms of growth, a different appreciation for the challenges that cause mothers to quit breastfeeding, a deeper sense of satisfaction in overcoming obstacle after obstacle, and letting go of the plans I made and going with the flow instead. At the end of the day, I am just as proud of this journey as I am of my first, even if I am unable to breastfeed as long as I did previously. By sharing my story, it is my hope that any woman who reads it feels accomplished no matter what her story is. Though each story is unique, every woman should feel proud of bringing a life into the world and making the often tough decisions necessary to ensure her child is happy and healthy. Because we may not be perfect, but we are exactly what our children need. And sometimes we forget how incredibly amazing we are.


What do you think about Alyssa’s story? We think she is amazing! Thanks for sharing Alyssa!

Did you face the possibility of supplementing or formula feeding your baby due to issues with breastfeeding? How did you work through that decision? Let us know in the comments below!


Would you like to share your breastfeeding story on our blog? Submit it here!

Laura's Story of Overcoming and Finding the Right Help

Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Story, Extended Breastfeeding, NICU, ParentingMaria MengelComment

This week, our story comes from Laura. One thing we love about Laura’s story is how she faced many challenges in her breastfeeding journey, but she sought help and didn’t give up!


Before my son was born, I knew I wanted to at least attempt to breastfeed. I wasn’t against formula by any means, but I knew there were some amazing benefits to breastmilk for baby and mama, and to me there was something incredible about feeding my baby the way babies have been fed for centuries.

breastfeeing after preeclampsia

Throughout my pregnancy, my blood pressure increased little by little, but the doctors weren’t overly worried about it. Around 33 weeks my ankles started to get really swollen but at my 34 week appointment, my blood pressure was fine. At 35 weeks 6 days, my ankles were getting even more swollen than normal, and I could feel the swelling climbing up my leg. The school nurse took my blood pressure, and it came up as 180/120. She said she wasn’t sure it was working correctly, but she calmly suggested I go to the hospital. I checked into the hospital at 5:30pm, and my blood pressure was so high that the nurse said “Wow, that’s impressive.” I had severe pre-eclampsia, and they said we were going to have our baby that night. Our son Angus was born via emergency c-section at 8:01pm, weighing 5lbs15oz.

For the first 24 hours of my son’s life I was stuck in bed because of blood pressure medication. Angus was still in the NICU being monitored for breathing, and his blood oxygen levels kept dropping below 90. I only got to see him every 2-3 hours when they brought him to me, and only for short visits. The nurses started to talk to me about breastfeeding, and one of the nurses expressed colostrum from my breasts so they could start to feed Angus through an NG tube (through his nose). They gave me a pump and taught me how to use it. I tried to nurse Angus when they brought him in to visit, but he fell asleep pretty much right away every time, so I continued with pumping. Since he was so small, they asked if I wanted to only feed him MY breast milk, whether I was comfortable with using donated breast milk in addition to mine, and whether I was comfortable supplementing with formula to add more calories. At that point, my only concern was about my son being healthy and to get him growing, so I agreed to using both donated milk and formula, and I kept pumping every 2-3 hours.

After a few days my production started to increase and the nurses didn’t have to use any donor milk anymore, but we were adding formula to my milk for extra calories. After 2 days of getting milk through the NG tube, Angus started to drink from bottles. They took out his NG tube, which was really exciting, but he still wasn’t doing great with nursing. The NICU nurses said that it was normal for babies born before 37 weeks to struggle, because they don’t understand the suck-swallow-breathe pattern. The lactation consultant at the hospital came by several times during our stay, and she helped us with proper positioning. She also suggested using a nipple shield, so we did. Angus was in the NICU for 13 days. The hospital had a great program where if they had extra rooms I could sleep at the hospital for as long as he was there. I was able to stay there almost the entire time, getting up for every feeding. We would try nursing for a few minutes, then I would pump and then bottle feed him. The night before he was going to be discharged, I slept at home, slept an extra hour or two between pumps, and I developed my first of a few bouts with a clogged duct and mastitis. We got settled at home, but I was getting up every 3 hours to triple feed (nurse, bottle feed, pump). My husband sometimes offered to do the nighttime feedings but I had to pump anyway, so I was up every 3 hours for weeks. His pediatrician asked us to keep supplementing with formula. Angus and I both cried many times over the next 5 weeks; he was slow to figure out nursing, and I was so frustrated at every feeding. I felt like I was somehow failing him, even though he was thriving and a very happy baby.

breastfeeding after preeclampsia

I started to seek out lactation help since we were not making much progress. I went to a lactation appointment at the hospital, and she said “He’s a mystery to me” which was not helpful or reassuring. I started going to the breastfeeding support group at the hospital. The woman running the group was another lactation consultant, and she did in-home lactation visits. I was starting to give up hope that he would nurse, but I set up a home visit with her. Having her come into my home was so much less stressful than going into the hospital for a visit. She helped me relax and taught me strategies to get him more interested in nursing, rather than forcing it at feeding time. She suggested we spend as much time as possible doing skin-to-skin, letting him find his way there on his own, and assuring me that him falling asleep at the breast wasn’t a bad thing, it just meant he was content there! She also encouraged me to take a break during some of the feeds, and to not force it if it wasn’t going well.

Slowly, we both started to get more comfortable, and nursing became less stressful and more successful. I distinctly remember when he was crying after his first set of shots, that was the first feeding that felt really successful. After our second lactation visit (at 7 weeks old), after watching him nurse, she suggested that we try exclusively nursing for a week and see how it went. I was nervous, and there was one night when Angus was upset ALL. NIGHT. LONG. At the end of that week, he had lost weight. I realized that he must have been hungry that entire night, and I was devastated. The following week we went back to a bottle or two per day with extra calories, but Angus was doing even better with nursing, and it felt like he was finally nursing until he was satisfied. That week he gained almost 10 ounces! From there, we weaned off the bottles and exclusively nursed. We were still using nipple shields at that point, and slowly we weaned off those too. I went back to work when he was 15 weeks. I pumped on the way to and from work every day (thank goodness for a battery operated pump and a hands free bra!), and twice during the day to make sure he had enough milk to drink at daycare. I work in different schools every day as a consultant, so I was pumping in storage closets most days. It was really challenging to plan my day around pumping and there were days when I missed pumps or didn’t pump enough. At that point, I had set myself the goal of making it to a year, but

breastfeeding after preeclampsia

I was ready to be done pumping. In March, when he was 11 months old, we got quarantined because of COVID-19, so we surpassed our year goal with no problem! It is much easier for me to let him nurse than it is to make a snack!

Angus is 14 months old now, and he still nurses several times a day. Some days those are the only times my son slows down and the only snuggles I get! Struggling through the first two months of our breastfeeding journey gives me so much more appreciation for every single feed we have together. Even if he decides to stop nursing tomorrow, it will be one of the things I’m most proud of as a mom. For any moms who have their heart or mind set on breastfeeding, I highly suggest recruiting a lactation consultant if you can to help figure out your journey! And no matter what, remember that you are the best mom for your baby, and only you and your baby know what’s right for you two!

breastfeeding after preeclampsia
breastfeeding after preeclampsia

What do you think about Laura’s story? We think she did an awesome job reaching out for help until she found the help she needed! Thanks for sharing Laura!
Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it
here!

Danielle's Story: When Breastfeeding Doesn't Come "Naturally"

Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Story, Extended Breastfeeding, NICU, ParentingMaria MengelComment

This week’s story comes from Danielle. Danielle learned first hand how something so natural doesn’t always come easy. She pushed through and overcame obstacles to feed her son!


Before even getting pregnant I always knew I wanted to breastfeed my children. Being a nanny I always saw moms nursing their children and they made it seem so easy, so why would I ever be anxious about when it would be my turn? I was wrong! The first time I was stressed about breastfeeding was when I was pregnant, I feared if I would even have enough milk to feed my baby. The stress wasn’t even about a latch, it was the supply. 

Fast forward to when my son was born, I had a complicated birth so after he arrived he was taken to the nicu for 6 hrs before I could even attempt to breastfeed. When it was time he wouldn’t latch, my nipples were considered too flat. While in the hospital the nurses wanted me to attempt to latch and then after a feed to pump out the colostrum to give my baby the next feed after attempting to latch again. Everytime I had to do this I called my nurse in to help me or to just evaluate what I was doing, cause of course being a first time mom I thought I was doing everything wrong! I probably apologized to my nurses more than I've apologized to anyone in my life, but that’s what they are there for.

After going home I had to use the boppy since the hold I had to have my baby in was so awkward, I also started using nipple shields although the nurses told me not to. I went on like this for 2 whole months!!!! On top of figuring out how to breastfeed after thinking it came so natural to moms (that’s a huge lie) my son had a dairy sensitivity. I had to cut out everything dairy in my diet to help my son thrive off of my breast milk and that was honestly so exhausting being on such a strict diet caring for not only myself but my son. Finally as my son got older it became more and more comfortable for us, it probably wasn’t till my son turned 8 months when I didn’t even have to think about what I was doing to feed him. Through our breastfeeding journey I donated 500+ ounces of breastmilk to other babies in need. I ended up having an oversupply and my son didn’t take bottles so anything I pumped I gave away. I told myself once he turned 1 I was going to stop but then 18 months came around and now my son just turned 2 years old on March 22nd 2020, we’re still going strong. Not sure or how to stop but I think at this point I’m leaving it up to him. 

when breastfeeding is hard

My advice for new moms who are having a hard time would be to be easy on yourself, both you and your baby are learning something very new. It takes a lot of time and patience but IT GETS EASIER! I actually hated hearing people tell me “it gets easier” because it doesn’t help me with what’s going on right then and there, but I promise it does get easier.

when breastfeeding is hard
when breastfeeding is hard

What do you think about Danielle’s story? She did an awesome job doing what was best for her son! Thanks for sharing Danielle!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story on our blog? Submit it here!

Courtney's Breastfeeding Journey

Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Story, Extended Breastfeeding, ParentingMaria Mengel1 Comment

Our story this week comes from Courtney, who overcame many obstacles in her breastfeeding journey. From complications in pregnancy to food allergies while nursing, Courtney worked hard to do what was best for her son in every circumstance.


I wouldn’t say my pregnancy was perfect, but I loved every bit of it. I battled morning sickness for three months, a weird skin sensation that turned into a multitude of tests (by the way, it was just crazy pregnancy hormones), and high blood pressure with upper right rib pain for two months (this led to a few non-stress tests in my third trimester). The rib pain was excruciating. I couldn’t sit comfortably, I couldn’t stand comfortably, I couldn’t drive comfortably – I felt like I was being ripped apart (yet, I still enjoyed being pregnant). My doctor told me my ribs were most likely bruised and the cartilage was pulling away, but Bodhi was growing and healthy. That is all that mattered to me. 

Jump to my 38-week check-up (the ONLY one I didn’t have my husband attend because the previous appointment was uneventful), I found out I’d be medically induced (THAT NIGHT!). My blood pressure was 140/100 and the rib pain was a concern for liver issues. Thank God my mother was there because I was in panic mode. I’m a naturally anxious person and once you throw a curveball into the mix it sends me into overdrive. I was not prepared (a cliché, I know).

Fast forward to the night of August 22nd, 2017 (which was the night after the solar eclipse – it makes me think the universe wanted Bodhi here a couple weeks earlier), I am given medicine and hooked up to an IV to start the induction process. In extreme pain, my stubborn self gives into the epidural to find out a couple hours later I was experiencing a unilateral epidural failure which caused my right side to go completely numb, while my left side felt EVERYTHING. I was miserable. My husband fed me ice chips while my mom rubbed my back for three hours straight. Back labor is no joke. At 3:28pm on August 23rd, 2017, Bodhi was born – a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby boy. The next two hours were pure bliss. I was exhausted, but wide awake. It was completely euphoric, and I’ll never forget our first look and our first latch.

Breastfeeding after preeclampsia

Since conception of my son, I knew I’d breastfeed. I couldn’t imagine not breastfeeding. I didn’t put much thought into it pre-baby because I saw it as a natural act – you conceive your baby, you birth your baby, and you breastfeed your baby (obviously, I’m cutting out all the drama along the way). However, what I didn’t know was how absolutely exhausting, time-consuming, emotionally, mentally, and physically demanding breastfeeding was (and still is). Bodhi latched beautifully. His first feed was about 45 minutes and it was magical. It was like a key fitting into a lock - we just clicked. 

After our hospital stay, I didn’t sleep the entire first week (no exaggeration). I was sleep deprived to the utmost degree, anxious, and trying to prepare for my sister’s wedding a week later. I had twelve weeks of maternity leave and during those weeks I nursed Bodhi on demand every day and every night. It came naturally to us. It wasn’t until about 6 weeks old (halfway through leave) I noticed he was extremely fussy after feeds, his diapers weren’t normal, and his belly was distended. I made a doctor’s appointment and was told he might have a little colic. It didn’t sit well with me because the research I was doing (not counting mother’s intuition) told me he had a dairy intolerance. I scheduled a second appointment with a different doctor and was told my baby was in pain due to a dairy intolerance (cue the hysteria). I’m so grateful for that second opinion and proud of myself for going with my gut. I cut dairy out of my diet for about eighteen months, soy for sixteen, and egg for eight. It was difficult to say the least, but worth it. My baby was happy, healthy, and thriving. 

Breastfeeding after preeclampsia

Fast forward to nineteen months, Bodhi was diagnosed with FPIES (that’s a whole other story) to shellfish after an allergy appointment. We are so thankful he does not have an IgE-mediated allergy to the aforementioned foods. Bodhi was and still is a complete mama’s boy. We are attached – figuratively and literally most of the time. In the beginning of our nursing relationship, I thought something was wrong with my milk supply, his latch, or our positioning. I think most new breastfeeding mothers have concerns. It’s normal to worry. In fact, I think it shows the care and thought put into such a demanding process. The first few months I constantly thought I was doing “it” wrong. Why did my son want to be latched for what seemed like 24/7? Why did my son cry when he wasn’t sleeping with me? Why did my son not want a pacifier or bottle? Is my son getting enough milk? Is my let-down too fast or maybe it’s too slow? My mind raced with these questions until I spoke with a lactation counselor and Bodhi’s doctor. They both guided and encouraged me with their life’s examples and education. Bodhi was gaining weight, wetting enough diapers, and happy once we addressed the food intolerances. 

Breastfeeding after preeclampsia

Bodhi was and is completely normal. On the other hand, I was not okay. I had postpartum anxiety (PPA) and postpartum depression PPD. I cried and worried constantly. The baby blues stuck around a bit longer than normal. I was completely in love with my son but dropping the ball in self-care and duties at home. That was my PPD. I was completely in awe with my son and his developments, but worried about every type of ailment or disease that could take over his life. That was my PPA. At five weeks postpartum, my OB prescribed me anxiety medication (I had taken these pre-Bodhi). I wanted to treat it naturally, but I needed more help. I’m thankful for modern medicine, doctors, and lactation counselors who helped me along my journey. In fact, I started courses to become a Lactation Counselor as I wish to help other moms deal with the many struggles that come with breastfeeding as well as the triumphs. I learned while nursing my son that it is the most demanding work I’ll do, but also the most rewarding.

Jump forward two and a half years, Bodhi and I continue to nurse. I believe in natural-term weaning. If it works for Bodhi and me, we will continue. The healthy attachment we have shows in our everyday lives and I hope it continues as he grows up and is finished nursing. He’s the light of my life and I’m so blessed to be able to continue nourishing him in the physical and emotional sense. 

This is just a glimpse into our 2.5-year nursing relationship. I hope you enjoyed it!

Breastfeeding after preeclampsia
Breastfeeding after preeclampsia

What do you think about Courtney’s story? We think she’s done an amazing job at providing for Bodhi! Thanks for sharing Courtney!


Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it
here!

Emotions, Boobs and Magic. A Breastfeeding Story.

Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Story, Parenting, Extended BreastfeedingMaria Mengel1 Comment

This week’s story comes from Ashley. Ashley’s journey is one that is common to many breastfeeding moms with some ups and downs, funny moments, and lots of sweet memories!


A beautiful picture was perfectly painted and stored in my brain of exactly how breastfeeding would go. Thanks to my extensive research, ok, I Googled a lot, I knew what I was doing. February 3, 2014, my husband coached me through labor like a champ that led to a natural delivery with no complications. Unfortunately, the first feeling of defeat came soon after when my little one would not latch. I was only a couple of hours into this whole mom gig and I was failing. Clearly, I did not Google enough. I stuck to my gut and asked the staff not to give formula. “This is new for her too, she will eat when she is hungry.” Those words from my nurse took a lot of pressure away but the fight was still there. Hours went by and still no food. I became frustrated and worried as time passed. The next attempt included the nurse holding my entire sugar water covered boob, in her hand and positioning the baby different ways to latch. Holy unicorns, it worked! I can still remember my husband laughing, saying “I cannot believe you let her do that.” Clearly, he was shocked I let a woman touch and squeeze me while fully exposed and dripping in sugar. I can guarantee you that the scene was not as steamy as it sounds. On that note, welcome to motherhood, breastfeeding edition.

Milk+Honey Jewelry

After the hospital hiccup, breastfeeding was mostly a breeze. By breeze, I mean emotional breakdowns, smiles, isolation and euphoria. Does that make sense?? No? Exactly. I absolutely loved breastfeeding. I even ignored the fact that I smelled HORRIBLE. Apparently, the combination of the hormone shift, breast milk and skipping a shower or two is enough to create a body odor out of this world. My days consisted of holding and feeding. I even learned to cook and sweep with one hand. In fact, I still sweep that way, minus the kid cradled to my boob. We had zero routine, so feedings seemed to increase but I never minded it. I started to pay for those constant feedings when it was time to visit friends or family. Euphoria turned into loneliness. I often found myself going into a spare room, locking the door and plopping down on the bed to feed. Feelings of bitterness and jealousy came over me as I would hear the laughter from the next room. I taught myself to overcome the feelings while I lost myself in baby girl’s eyes. The euphoria would return, the sweet suckling sounds put me at ease and my husband would appear to make sure we were ok. The emotional rollercoaster is real, and it taught me the importance of mental and physical wellness.

Milk+Honey Jewelry

Now that we were both experts on breastfeeding we started to venture out to restaurants and on vacations. I learned quickly, neither were as fun as they used to be. Most of my dining experience was spent in a bathroom stall. I would rather not have people stare while wrestling my tiny gymnast infant under a scarf. Bathroom stall for 2? Yes, please! Unless you are in Mexico. I vividly remember having to take a feeding break while in town. I went into a bright yellow, concrete building and found a roomy stall. Have you ever breastfed an already sweaty baby, in Mexico’s summer heat? We smelled and it was slippery! One of my favorite memories took place in NY on a family stroll. Baby girl wanted nothing to do with the nursing scarf; I was forced to remove it unless I wanted a screaming baby in the middle of NY. To my surprise, no one batted an eye. I mean, NO ONE. For the first time in 11 months, I fed freely in public without judgement. Later that day, I sat on a bench in Central Park and simply breastfed. I asked my husband to take a picture so I could remember that empowering moment. Fast forward to when we rode a crowded trolley in TN after being at an outdoor concert for hours with our almost 2 yr old tired and cranky comfort feeder. Moments into the ride, my child was saying, “Boob, mommy, I want boob, please boob.” Unlike the NY experience, I received LOTS of looks. The repetition continued. I, in turn responded with, “Book, yes honey, we will read your book.” At least that helped with the stares. The first year was the happiest and easiest. Somehow the universe aligned for us and I was able to stay home for 13 months and I am still thankful for it. Rainbows and sparkles do not last forever though. The greatest challenge was when I started my new job on the evening shift. I pumped each night in an exam room but was not producing much. I tried Fenugreek, lactation cookies [editor side note: you can find our recipe here!], and probably attempted witchcraft a time or two. I would return home at almost midnight to a crying baby almost every time. All she wanted to do was nurse. This lasted about 6 months until day shift finally opened; our routine eventually smoothed out and we found our norm. My journey lasted 2 years. One year too many if you ask my husband. I would have never made it through some of the emotional ups and downs without such a supportive partner; I am forever grateful for him. We need to remember to take care of ourselves not only physically but mentally during the challenging times that breastfeeding, and motherhood alone brings. Enjoy every second mommas, because they grow and so do we.


milk and honey jewelry
Milk+Honey Jewelry

What do you think about Ashley’s story? We think Ashley did awesome handling the ups and downs that come with this journey in motherhood!


Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it
here!