Our story this week comes from Katy. Katy’s story is heartwrenching, and you may want to make sure you have a box of tissues nearby. We are grateful to her for her vulnarability in sharing her story with us.
My journey breastfeeding my son Barrett who is in heaven is much different than that of my daughter Penelope who is 2 years old. I was able to nurse Penelope from the start, navigate through a tongue tie and just enjoy that nursing experience (I will say it was much more difficult than I envisioned it would be).
Barrett was born on June 14, 2019 and my husband and I noticed right away that Barrett’s cry was not as strong as his sister’s cry when she was born just 16 months earlier. I held my baby boy and asked if it was ok to nurse him as we were snuggling during our first time doing skin-to-skin. The nurse told me I was not able to nurse Barrett due to his difficulties with breathing. My baby boy was taken to the specialty care nursery, so I began to start pumping so he was able to start eating his momma’s milk. I pumped around the clock and tried to stay as positive as I could while devastated that I was unable to nurse my sweet boy. Barrett’s story is a long one, with 2 hospital transfers where he ended up in the highest level nicu. Breast Milk was a part of Barrett’s treatment plan and I made sure to pump as often as I could. Pumping kept me busy and made me feel a little less helpless in a very difficult situation. My husband Tyler made sure my pump parts were always cleaned and sanitized for the next use. I truly couldn’t have been as successful with pumping if it wasn’t for the support of Tyler.
We spent our days at the hospital and slept minimally so that we could be with Barrett as much as possible. About 3 weeks into our nicu stay while pumping Barrett’s doctor came to tell us that the condition we suspected that our son had was confirmed. Our son was diagnosed with a fatal lung disease called Alveolar Capillary Dysplasia. I continued pumping because I loved that my son was getting nutrients from me and it helped my heart during the most difficult time of my entire life. It wasn’t the nursing bond I had hoped for but it was still an incredible feeling knowing he was getting my milk. Sometimes he was unable to get milk but was able to do oral care. Oral care consisted of syringe feeding Barrett my milk and boy did he love it. Oral care was also something Tyler could do which made me very happy to see him feeding Barrett. Since Barrett was unable to eat as much as I pumped the hospital froze everything for me. Barrett went to be with Jesus on 7/12/2019. Tyler and I went to the hospital to pick up all of the frozen milk and I knew I needed to donate this milk to another baby. That was one way I wanted to share a piece of Barrett because I know Barrett would want to share with another baby who needed breastmilk. Pumping was very difficult but brought me hope knowing another baby was able to enjoy it and get the health benefits from it. Barrett’s legacy is a strong one and as his momma it is my pride and joy to continue his legacy. I am currently pregnant with Barrett’s Irish twin (babies born within a year of each other) and my hope and prayer is that I will be able to nurse this sweet boy and give him some of Barrett’s milk I have saved just for this new baby.
You can find our full story first reported by lovewhatmatters.com.
What an amazing act of kindness Katy did when she donated her breastmilk to other babies! Find out more about Breast Milk Banks here.
Thank you Katy for sharing your story! Barrett was so blessed to you have a mom and we are honored that you have allowed us to share your story on our blog!
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