Megan's Breastfeeding Story from the NICU

Our breastfeeding story this week comes from Megan. Megan shares her story of pumping for her daughter in the NICU.

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My breastfeeding story is not the typical one or the story I thought I would have. My husband and I are high school sweethearts and imagined having multiple children early on. We waited until we were 28 to get married, traveled a bit, and I decided to get off of birth control after a year of marriage. My doctor warned me it could take some time to regulate, but I was not ready for the journey we were going to have. 

We started trying to conceive in 2018 and did not have an easy time. My period never came and after 6 months of trying to regulate, I had to be put on medication to induce my period. My gynecologist at the time did blood work and realized I was not ovulating when I was supposed to be and that my testosterone was high. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2018 and was sent to a PCOS specialist/Fertility doctor. At this time, I was working for a school that did not cover fertility treatments, so we had to wait until I changed jobs and/or switched to my husband's insurance. Thankfully I got a new teaching job in a District that covered fertility in 2019. 

The reason that we went to this specific fertility doctor was because he was a PCOS specialist. My husband and I both did bloodwork and I was put on Metformin to help with my PCOS and to lose weight. At this time I began working out and watching what I was eating, trying to be healthy so I could conceive. The only way I would get a regular period was if I was weight lifting 3 times a week and was under a certain weight. This was not the best time of my life and then COVID happened and the world stopped. 

We had to pause all our fertility treatments/plans because of COVID. Once we were able to begin again, things that happened at our doctor started to question if we were at the right fertility office for us. They gave us condescending information, wanted my husband to retake tests that he already took, and finally they gave us wrong test results. This last step was when we decided we needed to find a new fertility doctor. We ended up switching fertility doctors and got very lucky and got pregnant on our first round of IUI in January of 2021, with a due date of September 28. We decided we didn’t want to know the gender and wanted to be surprised. 

Since this was a fertility pregnancy and with a diagnosis of a short cervix, I was considered high risk. I would see my normal OB and then a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor regularly. While preparing for the baby and not knowing the gender, we decided to make the nursery a Harry Potter theme. My husband and I are both obsessed with books and movies. This would be a perfect theme for our new addition. We had our nursery planned, showers planned, a mini babymoon planned and were so excited for the third trimester! 

During our babymoon, I started having leg pain and chest pain. I was 27 weeks and was cleared to travel by my OB. I assumed it was just because we drove 8 hours to Tennessee and was being affected by the elevation. I was swollen for most of my pregnancy, but my blood pressure was always okay. When we got back from Tennessee, I had my normal 28 week check up (even though I was 27+3 at the time). The OB found protein in my urine and my liver enzymes were elevated. 

I was first hospitalized on July 2, 2021 for preeclampsia monitoring. We spent the 4th of July weekend in the hospital, but were lucky since we had a surround sound view of fireworks. By Monday, my liver enzymes went back to normal and I was put on bedrest at home with weekly appointments with my MFM doctor and my OB. I was not allowed to start the school year in August, and was told we were going to keep the baby in for as long as possible. Three days after I was released from the hospital at my first MFM appointment, I was hospitalized again because my baby’s umbilical cord was being affected by my blood pressure being so high. 

I delivered our daughter on July 8, 2021 (we didn’t know what we were having!) at 28+2. We named her Nora. My preeclampsia turned into HELLP syndrome and I had an emergency c-section, which I was put under for. My platelets were at 44 when I went into surgery and I needed a blood transfusion. She was in the NICU for 76 days and my breastfeeding journey was pumping because that was literally the only thing I could do. Since I am a teacher and on summer break, I was pumping every 3-4 hours – at home and while visiting Nora in the NICU. When Nora was first born, she was only getting a very tiny amount, so each of my pumps was feeding her for a few days. I had a fairly normal supply and would pump anywhere from 2-6 ounces every pump. I filled up the NICU freezer and our freezer at home. It was a long time until I actually had to bring milk to the hospital since I pumped there everyday. 

Due to all this pumping and freezing, I was able to feed Nora through her NICU stay and up until she was 4 months old / 1 month adjusted. Nora was able to come home on September 22, 2021. I stopped fresh pumping in the beginning of October, and she ate all of the frozen milk. 

Pumping was exhausting, but it was the only thing I had control of while she was in the NICU. It, honestly, was the only thing that made me feel like a real mom for those 76 days. I found Milk + Honey on Instagram, and at first I thought it was weird…. But then I started my own journey and realized how special this is and how time consuming and close it made me and Nora.

I got a ring and I wear it on my thumb. It has gold and red flakes - gold and red to represent Gryffindor House and red for Nora’s birthstone, which is a Ruby. I adore my breast milk mothers ring because it reminds me of what Nora and I overcame and how our relationship started. If Nora would be lucky enough to attend Hogwarts, she would for sure be in Gryffindor House for her bravery. It’s amazing to me how much she has already done in her short life and I am so lucky to be her mother through this all.

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What do you think about Megan’s story? We think she did an awesome job! Thanks for sharing Megan!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story on our blog? Submit it here!

Kelley's Breastfeeding Story

Our story this week comes from Kelley. Kelley’s story is one of determination and perseverance. Read on to see how Kelley pushed to make breastfeeding work for her and her son.

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I remember a day years and years ago, when I still worked in the hospitality industry and a woman whom I knew came into the restaurant for lunch with her infant. Mid lunch I realized she was nursing the kid and I was horrified, whispering to the other staff about how dare she! Oh, the horror! I was self-righteous in my indignation and of course, I never wanted children and definitely would never breast feed.

Fast forward two decades and here I was, holding our infant son. Born eight days after my 42nd birthday, our boy came four weeks early yet still weighed a hefty seven pounds. And while I had a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy, save a slight bout of preeclampsia at the end that prompted the early labor, we had a very healthy little boy. But he did have low blood sugar and therefore the nurses started him off straight away on tiny little bottles of formula, despite the words ‘breastfeeding’ written on my chart and on his little baby card fixed to the hospital bassinet.  Once we became pregnant, somewhat miraculously and naturally after three tries at the ripe old age of 41, I quickly realized I would nurse our child. Something deep within me shifted, the first of many monumental changes that moved me toward full-on motherhood. What I didn’t yet realize nor could I ever have understood was that what seemed so natural would not come easy. In fact, it was incredibly difficult.

In the hospital we met with three different lactation consultants who all said different things. One put a nursing shield on me, which I hated. Another gave me a crash course in the football hold, a complicated maneuver that my sleep-deprived brain couldn’t grasp, prompting me to take copious amounts of nursing selfies, hoping to replicate the pose once we went home.

Another brought in a small tub for washing pump parts, a method she meticulously detailed over some 20 painful minutes while I could feel my husband tensing and gritting his teeth. 

“I know how to wash dishes, for crying out loud,” he grumbled upon her departure. We were frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, confused – dutifully feeding our son those tiny bottles of ‘medically necessary’ formula while trying to squeeze out my colostrum and feeding it from a spoon.

Thankfully my sister, who had breastfed my niece 18 years before, told me I needed to pump since our son wasn’t nursing that well. I started pumping, listening to the constant whirring sound of the hospital-grade pump, so tired and frustrated and feeling like a failure. Then, my milk came in – buttery yellow, thick and in great amounts. 

Honestly, I cannot remember if we fed our son that milk in the hospital. I think we did, but for whatever reason they still sent us home loaded up with those tiny bottles of formula. We had a sheet of paper to log all feeds, and the amounts, along with paper upon paper of instructions. Not to mention my selfies of that football hold, the one position that really seemed to work.

We soon found our way to the pediatrician’s office as instructed, where we learned that our son was losing weight. Babies can lose up to 10 percent of birth weight, which for our son meant no more than 11 ounces, not quite ¾ of a pound, or in our case, not less than 6 pounds 5 ounces.  Despite all of my best efforts he still lost weight. Those first days home our routine consisted of me trying to nurse for up to 30 minutes, using a cold wipe and trying like hell to rouse our sleepy little new baby. My husband would lurk, impatient for his turn to feed, until I would give up and hand over our son, tears streaking my cheeks, weary in my desperation. I would grab the pump a friend gifted us off our registry, a fantastic Medela almost as efficient as the one in the hospital. In my exhaustion sometimes I would hear words from the whirring, or make up songs to go along with the noise. Over days the constant churning of that pump seemed to mock me, yet the ounces upon ounces the machine received from my body kept me going, providing the encouragement I needed. We did this routine every two hours, and I could feel my husband silently cursing my determination.

Back at the pediatrician’s office with our son continuing to lose, the lactation consultant told us to use a syringe for the weekend feeds and ordered us back into the office Monday. It felt like my last chance, and in hindsight, it sure was. The routine was the same except my husband used a syringe instead of a bottle, which he detested. These so-called ‘squirrel feeds’ didn’t seem natural to him, and they left him unsettled. All that weekend I tried to nurse a lazy sleepy little bottle-fed baby while my husband lurked, impatient, for his turn to squirrel feed as I pumped. Except this time, miraculously, our son decided he did not care for a syringe and instead would try out the boob.

We returned to the pediatrician that Monday, happy to see his weight starting to creep back up. We got the green light to stop the syringe feeding and our son started nursing. But subsequent visits to the pediatrician had him not quite gaining as he should, yet again. Another round with the lactation consultant who again helped me with his latch and then told me about hind milk. She told me to keep him on each side for 20 minutes, which really never worked. He was a consistent 10 minutes per side kind of babe and thankfully, that wound up perfectly ok. The little guy wound up taking to the breast, finally, and within his first few weeks of life, after such a hard time that I think most people would have given up. In fact, my husband really encouraged me to stop trying. But I love a challenge and here we were – the reluctant breastfeeder, determined and refusing to give up. Our son never did take a bottle after that first week and wouldn’t take a pacifier. The little nugget who preferred formula at first had become quite the little boob snob.

Today, we are still going strong at 29 months. I never in a million years expected to nurse at all, let alone this long. We did recently night wean, a process that took several attempts before he was ready. Since the start we have been staunchly against any form of sleep training or cry-it-out, so I wasn’t about to do any sort of forced night weaning. The first few tries he got upset so I abandoned the attempts. Finally, right around 27.5 months he was OK with it. We still nurse to sleep and bedshare, but he knows no more milk until the sun shines. If he wakes at night we cuddle, and he rarely asks for milk anymore. But every morning when that sun comes up he loudly declares, “Sun uuupppp” and pounces like a tiger!

I’ve no idea when our journey will come to an end and honestly, I am ok with continuing to let him lead. I know not everyone understands or ‘approves’ – honestly, I didn’t get it either until we had our son. Now I know it is a bond like no other, and I know when our journey ends, I will miss it very much. And these days when I think back to that mama nursing in that restaurant, my heart warms and a smile creeps across my face. I see you, mama, and I have become you. Thank you.

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What do you think about Kelley’s story? We think she’s a rockstar! Thanks for sharing Kelley!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story on our blog? Submit it here!

Breastfeeding in the PICU

Our story this week comes from Brianna. Read on to hear how she pushed through and persevered to provide breastmilk for her son in a time when she felt otherwise helpless to do anythign for him.

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I grew up in a home where breastfeeding was a frequent conversation topic. My mother is a lactation specialist, and it wasn’t uncommon for her to be helping a new mom with a breastfeeding question at the dinner table. When I had my daughter I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but our feeding journey was a roller coaster from the start. She wasn’t able to latch, she had tongue and lip ties, she fell asleep as soon as we started a feeding, and my milk supply was low. We had her ties reversed, but she still wasn’t able to nurse. I ended up pumping and bottle feeding for the three months of my materiality leave, and when it was time to go back to work we switched to formula. I felt guilty for being so relieved, but I truly hated pumping. It took me a long time to unpack the emotions I felt in those first few months. Ultimately I’ve come to learn that my worth as a woman and a mother isn’t defined by being able to breastfeed. Those months of pumping showed me that I was strong and determined, but they also taught me that my mental health is more important than where the milk comes from. A fed baby is a happy baby.

Fast forward to this past June when I was pregnant with our second baby. I told myself I was not going to put as much pressure on myself as I did last time. I almost didn’t even order a pump through insurance this time around, because I knew I didn’t want to pump again. I wasn’t going back to work because of COVID, so I figured I would breastfeed or bottle feed and that would be that. When our son Milo was born it was immediately different. He was rooting and latched right away. He didn’t have tongue or lip ties, and breastfeeding seemed to click. When we were discharged the next day I was feeling confident and thankful that feeding was looking easier this time.

Unfortunately the next several weeks were filled with frequent visits to the pediatrician. Milo lost 13% of his birth weight and was slow to gain it back. My milk was late to come in and once again my supply seemed low. I kept nursing, supplemented with formula for a few weeks, and by the time he was two months old he was finally gaining well and he was exclusively breastfeeding.

We were glad to be done with frequent doctor visits, until a couple weeks later when Milo woke up and something wasn’t quite right. He was fussy and he didn’t want to eat. He would cry every time I tried to get him to latch, but with a lot of effort he would finally nurse. The next morning he woke up, nursed once, and over the next couple hours we knew something was wrong. He didn’t have a fever, but he was unable to nurse and he seemed lethargic. We saw the pediatrician who believed he was constipated and dehydrated. She sent us to the local emergency room, and we were admitted. When we got to the ER I realized since I hadn’t nursed him all day, I needed to pump. I called my husband to retrieve the Spectra pump I had begrudgingly ordered and stuck in the closet. I pumped that evening and tried to syringe feed Milo, figuring the next day he would nurse again once he was feeling better. However, the next morning he was worse. He was unable to swallow and was making this awful, low, whining cry. He was more lethargic than the day before, and I knew something was very wrong. We were transferred, via ambulance, to a nearby children’s hospital. As the day went on I watched my sweet baby get sicker and sicker. He could not swallow, he could not move, he could hardly cry. At one point, his oxygen saturation dropped, and the pediatric team initiated our transfer from the peds floor to the pediatric ICU. When we arrived on the floor Milo was immediately evaluated by the PICU team. The attending, who I will forever be grateful for, examined him for several minutes and then said, “I think this is botulism.”

My husband arrived just as the team was leaving (up until this point I had been by myself due to COVID policies) and the attending reviewed his plan with us. Our son was presumed to have infant botulism, and the attending recommended we begin the treatment immediately. The drug used to treat botulism is an orphan drug called BabyBIG. It’s only made in California, and each dose must be made and transported as needed. Testing to confirm botulism takes several days, so it is recommended that treatment begin without confirmation when botulism is suspected. The team requested the dose of BabyBIG right away and it arrived in New York roughly 12 hours later. Milo received the dose of BabyBIG almost immediately, and then we just had to wait and hope the diagnosis was correct.

Over the next several days the PICU team ran test after test to rule out other diagnoses (meningitis, genetic disorders, metabolic disorders, etc.) while waiting to confirm botulism. During this time, our son was intubated, sedated, and a feeding tube was placed. Botulism toxin blocks nerve endings from being able to contract muscles, so as the toxin moves through the body it slows digestion, motor movement, swallowing, and breathing; essentially paralysis. When the feeding tube was placed, it was my first chance to feed him in days. My milk supply had tanked, as I was mainly pumping for comfort, but something ignited within me and I was determined. Sitting in a PICU room with a sick baby makes you feel helpless, but pumping was something I could do. He could still have breast milk through that feeding tube. So I got to work. Family members made and dropped off lactation cookies, my mother sent supplements, I got appropriate sized flanges from the hospital's lactation consultant, and I pumped. I pumped every 2-3 hours for the next week and a half, and that precious milk went right into the kangaroo feeding bag connected to his NG tube. As exhausted as I was, I was glad to be able to do anything to take care of him in such a helpless situation.

Four days after receiving the BabyBIG, Milo was showing progress. He was beginning to move his arms and legs. The next day he opened his eyes. A couple days later he was breathing on his own. Slowly his suck started coming back. It was incredible watching everything he lost be reversed as his muscle strength and movement were restored. On the day he was extubated we were finally allowed to hold him again, and that was spectacular. Soon after, he was cleared for non nutritive nursing, so I would pump and then he would latch and essentially “practice nursing” while receiving his NG feed. It was exhausting, but seeing progress each day helped us move forward.

Toward the end of our stay he completed a fiberoptic endoscopic evaluation of swallowing (FEES) to determine if he was safe to resume oral feedings. He passed, but they wanted him to start off with bottle feedings. Those feedings were challenging because he wasn’t a bottle fed baby and he didn’t have the stamina to complete a bottle feeding. After a day of bottle feeding attempts, and some advocating on my part, they cleared him for nursing instead. Once again I felt relief as part of my breastfeeding journey, but for totally different reasons. My baby was back in my arms nursing and my hard work to restore my milk supply had paid off.

Many babies with botulism are discharged from the hospital with their feeding tubes, as the swallow can be impacted for a variable amount of time, but after two days of successful nursing Milo’s feeding tube was able to be removed. While that was an exciting moment, nothing compared to the following day when we were discharged, two weeks to the day were admitted.

I’m so in awe of Milo's strength and resiliency. While we were in the hospital several people told us, “he won’t remember any of this.” True, he won’t, but we sure will. I will never forget seeing him in that hospital bed, and I won’t ever take for granted the ability to hold and feed my baby. I’m so proud to have persevered with pumping and that our breastfeeding journey can continue. There will still be hard days; we are parenting a baby and a five year-old after all, but thankfully this little guy has smiles in spades.

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What do you think about Brianna’s story? We think she did an incredible job at doing the best she could for her babies! Thanks for sharing Brianna!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it here!

Laura's Story of Overcoming and Finding the Right Help

This week, our story comes from Laura. One thing we love about Laura’s story is how she faced many challenges in her breastfeeding journey, but she sought help and didn’t give up!

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Before my son was born, I knew I wanted to at least attempt to breastfeed. I wasn’t against formula by any means, but I knew there were some amazing benefits to breastmilk for baby and mama, and to me there was something incredible about feeding my baby the way babies have been fed for centuries.

Throughout my pregnancy, my blood pressure increased little by little, but the doctors weren’t overly worried about it. Around 33 weeks my ankles started to get really swollen but at my 34 week appointment, my blood pressure was fine. At 35 weeks 6 days, my ankles were getting even more swollen than normal, and I could feel the swelling climbing up my leg. The school nurse took my blood pressure, and it came up as 180/120. She said she wasn’t sure it was working correctly, but she calmly suggested I go to the hospital. I checked into the hospital at 5:30pm, and my blood pressure was so high that the nurse said “Wow, that’s impressive.” I had severe pre-eclampsia, and they said we were going to have our baby that night. Our son Angus was born via emergency c-section at 8:01pm, weighing 5lbs15oz.

For the first 24 hours of my son’s life I was stuck in bed because of blood pressure medication. Angus was still in the NICU being monitored for breathing, and his blood oxygen levels kept dropping below 90. I only got to see him every 2-3 hours when they brought him to me, and only for short visits. The nurses started to talk to me about breastfeeding, and one of the nurses expressed colostrum from my breasts so they could start to feed Angus through an NG tube (through his nose). They gave me a pump and taught me how to use it. I tried to nurse Angus when they brought him in to visit, but he fell asleep pretty much right away every time, so I continued with pumping. Since he was so small, they asked if I wanted to only feed him MY breast milk, whether I was comfortable with using donated breast milk in addition to mine, and whether I was comfortable supplementing with formula to add more calories. At that point, my only concern was about my son being healthy and to get him growing, so I agreed to using both donated milk and formula, and I kept pumping every 2-3 hours.

After a few days my production started to increase and the nurses didn’t have to use any donor milk anymore, but we were adding formula to my milk for extra calories. After 2 days of getting milk through the NG tube, Angus started to drink from bottles. They took out his NG tube, which was really exciting, but he still wasn’t doing great with nursing. The NICU nurses said that it was normal for babies born before 37 weeks to struggle, because they don’t understand the suck-swallow-breathe pattern. The lactation consultant at the hospital came by several times during our stay, and she helped us with proper positioning. She also suggested using a nipple shield, so we did. Angus was in the NICU for 13 days. The hospital had a great program where if they had extra rooms I could sleep at the hospital for as long as he was there. I was able to stay there almost the entire time, getting up for every feeding. We would try nursing for a few minutes, then I would pump and then bottle feed him. The night before he was going to be discharged, I slept at home, slept an extra hour or two between pumps, and I developed my first of a few bouts with a clogged duct and mastitis. We got settled at home, but I was getting up every 3 hours to triple feed (nurse, bottle feed, pump). My husband sometimes offered to do the nighttime feedings but I had to pump anyway, so I was up every 3 hours for weeks. His pediatrician asked us to keep supplementing with formula. Angus and I both cried many times over the next 5 weeks; he was slow to figure out nursing, and I was so frustrated at every feeding. I felt like I was somehow failing him, even though he was thriving and a very happy baby.

I started to seek out lactation help since we were not making much progress. I went to a lactation appointment at the hospital, and she said “He’s a mystery to me” which was not helpful or reassuring. I started going to the breastfeeding support group at the hospital. The woman running the group was another lactation consultant, and she did in-home lactation visits. I was starting to give up hope that he would nurse, but I set up a home visit with her. Having her come into my home was so much less stressful than going into the hospital for a visit. She helped me relax and taught me strategies to get him more interested in nursing, rather than forcing it at feeding time. She suggested we spend as much time as possible doing skin-to-skin, letting him find his way there on his own, and assuring me that him falling asleep at the breast wasn’t a bad thing, it just meant he was content there! She also encouraged me to take a break during some of the feeds, and to not force it if it wasn’t going well.

Slowly, we both started to get more comfortable, and nursing became less stressful and more successful. I distinctly remember when he was crying after his first set of shots, that was the first feeding that felt really successful. After our second lactation visit (at 7 weeks old), after watching him nurse, she suggested that we try exclusively nursing for a week and see how it went. I was nervous, and there was one night when Angus was upset ALL. NIGHT. LONG. At the end of that week, he had lost weight. I realized that he must have been hungry that entire night, and I was devastated. The following week we went back to a bottle or two per day with extra calories, but Angus was doing even better with nursing, and it felt like he was finally nursing until he was satisfied. That week he gained almost 10 ounces! From there, we weaned off the bottles and exclusively nursed. We were still using nipple shields at that point, and slowly we weaned off those too. I went back to work when he was 15 weeks. I pumped on the way to and from work every day (thank goodness for a battery operated pump and a hands free bra!), and twice during the day to make sure he had enough milk to drink at daycare. I work in different schools every day as a consultant, so I was pumping in storage closets most days. It was really challenging to plan my day around pumping and there were days when I missed pumps or didn’t pump enough. At that point, I had set myself the goal of making it to a year, but

I was ready to be done pumping. In March, when he was 11 months old, we got quarantined because of COVID-19, so we surpassed our year goal with no problem! It is much easier for me to let him nurse than it is to make a snack!

Angus is 14 months old now, and he still nurses several times a day. Some days those are the only times my son slows down and the only snuggles I get! Struggling through the first two months of our breastfeeding journey gives me so much more appreciation for every single feed we have together. Even if he decides to stop nursing tomorrow, it will be one of the things I’m most proud of as a mom. For any moms who have their heart or mind set on breastfeeding, I highly suggest recruiting a lactation consultant if you can to help figure out your journey! And no matter what, remember that you are the best mom for your baby, and only you and your baby know what’s right for you two!

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What do you think about Laura’s story? We think she did an awesome job reaching out for help until she found the help she needed! Thanks for sharing Laura!
Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it here!

Phylisha's Story of Oversupply, Pumping, Donating, and Working

Our story this week comes from Phylisha. She really prepared herself for breastfeeding before she even became pregnant! She reached out when she had issues, and she did an amazing job at overcoming the obstacles that came her way!

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My breastfeeding journey in a way started before I was even pregnant. I had heard about breastfeeding but knew absolutely nothing about it. Only one person that I knew had even done it and it fascinated me. I started to research it and learn all I could about it. The benefits amazed me! How could it not? Breast milk is tailored to your baby’s needs, it is constantly changing for them, and less dishes to wash! I came to the conclusion that when I did eventually get pregnant I would breastfeed, to me it was a no brainer.

While I was pregnant I continued to research everything I could to hopefully ensure a successful breastfeeding journey, I did not realize how important that would end up being. Around 34 weeks the doctors noticed my daughter was measuring small. They kept an eye on it and I reached out to a few lactation consultants to prepare myself in case she were to come early. I started to collect colostrum and save it just in case she had blood sugar issues or latch issues. 

The big day finally arrived and she was born very small but perfect. She latched right away! Soon issues started to present themselves. She was spitting up large amounts, pulling off my breast choking, crying and fussing when trying to eat, gassiness, and clamping down of my breast were just a few of the challenges we faced. I started to research and reached out to my county's W.I.C. lactation specialist. We decided that I would pump and see if I had an oversupply and I pumped 18 oz combined from both breasts! I started nursing reclined, pumping some off before feeding (only if engorgement was making it too hard for my daughter to latch) , and block feeding to hopefully make my supply more manageable. It worked! It was bittersweet to see my supply lower. I was so thankful to finally take control of my breastfeeding relationship but all the groups you join or articles you see all idolize an oversupply so I questioned if I was doing the right thing. I still had an oversupply and could pump anywhere from 8-12 oz a time and more importantly my daughter was starting to enjoy breastfeeding.

Our freezer began to fill up at an exponential rate and we soon had more milk than we could ever use with me only working 3-4 days a week when I was to go back to work. I started to look into donating. I made a post on my states Human Milk for Human Babies page and started to put together a portfolio for myself. I included the blood testing they did at the beginning of my pregnancy, a little blurb about myself and my daughter and a written statement saying I would be willing to be drug tested if a mama wanted me to. I keep this saved in case a mama ever wants more information about me and the milk she would be receiving. Soon got multiple matches and started to donate. Before I knew it I had donated 850 oz before I even went back to work! I have continued to donate and will continue to donate, my current donation total is 1,536 oz. Along with donating myself I am also spreading awareness in any way I can about donor milk! It is a truly amazing thing that saves lives. My hope is that one day it is more widely accepted becomes an option at the front line for mamas who are struggling. 

I went back to work when my daughter was four months old, after many nights discussing with my husband we decided that he would be the one staying home with our daughter. I had a job that I loved with coworkers who became family, I didn’t want to give it up. My husband asked me for resources to help him when it came to bottle feeding a breastfed baby. We spent some time learning about how to properly thaw and warm the milk as well as pace feeding. Thankfully our daughter took to a bottle straight away and had no issues with nipple confusion. 

Then the fear set in. How would I manage pumping in a fast paced job like waitressing? I sat down and talked to my lead waitress and she calmed my fears like she always did and we made a plan of how we would work my breaks with pumping. I try to feed my daughter about an hour before i go to work so two hours into my shift I  will pump. Most of the time it works out that I only have to pump once at work and then I feed my daughter right when I get home. I am still working on perfecting my pumping set up for work. I am currently using an old backpack to carry my pump and a lined bag with ice packs for my bottles. I perfected my pump set up before I even started to think about my bag and ice pack. My Spectra S1 and Pumpin Pal flanges are my best friends at this point in time! Breastfeeding and pumping are a journey. Things aren’t perfect overnight you have to just keep trying to see what fits for you!

I am so thankful to be able to breastfeed successfully. I attribute a lot of it to my strong support team, my research obsession, and my sheer will to make this work and give my daughter the best I could possibly give! I hope to keep sharing my journey to hopefully help struggling mothers. I hope that one day I will be able to be a support person for a mama struggling on her journey. I want to be that little bit of a push she needs to keep going. I want to use my journey to help as many mamas as possible.

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What do you think about Phylisha’s story? We think she is amazing for donating and helping so many other babies! Thanks for sharing Phylisha!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it here!

A Breastfeeding Story from an Oversupplier

Our story this week comes from Dana. She shares her journey as an oversupplier with breastfeeding. While many moms might be envious of her milk supply, Dana shares first hand about how such a “blessing” can also come with its fair share of troubles.

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Being a first-time mom and a Labor and Delivery nurse, I thought breastfeeding would be easy and come naturally, but little did I know I had a lot to learn. In my profession I have helped many moms start their breastfeeding journey. So, I thought it would be easy for my daughter and I, but from the beginning we have had our ups and downs.

My husband and I couldn’t wait to start our family. So, after many months of trying, it finally happened, and we were ecstatic! Being a nurse in labor and delivery, I am well aware of all the changes that come along with pregnancy, and I was blessed to have a very easy and healthy pregnancy. On April 3rd, at 39 weeks, I began having contractions and after hours of laboring at home we decided it was time to go to the hospital. Once we arrived my blood pressure was in the severe range and I was diagnosed with Preeclampsia, which they had been monitoring for towards the end of my pregnancy. Thankfully my body had begun the laboring process on its own and I didn’t need to be induced, but rather helped along a little.

I have helped countless moms bring their new babies into this world and helped many moms through the pain of contractions, so I thought I knew what to expect. Well let me tell you, I have a whole new perspective on things and have a lot more empathy for my patients! I applaud those mama’s who attempt an all-natural birth, but this labor and delivery nurse is very thankful for pain medication. My daughter entered this world at 4:20 pm on April 4 th 2019, just five days before her due date. Besides my blood pressure being high, my labor and delivery was thankfully uncomplicated, because as a nurse I know nothing ever goes right when we are the patient.

Our breastfeeding journey started in the recovery room. I was so thankful when my daughter latched on and nursed well for the first two hours after she was born, but this is where our breastfeeding struggles began. My daughter nursed well the entire time we were in the hospital and has been great at nursing her whole life. Those first few nights in the hospital were very tiring, as to be expected, with her constant want to cluster feed. I never once thought that I needed to ask for help with breastfeeding. The pain I was feeling I thought was normal and was due to her constant want to nurse. The nurses evaluated her latch for a tongue-tie, and all looked good. They told me she must have initially had a shallow latch causing some nipple trauma which was causing the pain, but that it should get better after a couple days.

We took our precious little girl home two days later. We had some long nights up every one to three hours. Nursing was going well on my right side, but I dreaded feeding her on the left side because her latch was so painful. It was to the point I had constant pain on my left side even when she wasn’t nursing.

I cried even thinking about nursing her on that side. Five days post-partum my milk came in and this was the first time I pumped. We were leaving the house for the first time and I wasn’t comfortable nursing in public yet. The first time I pumped I got three ounces within the first five minutes! I was ecstatic because I know so many moms struggle with low supply. However, I also knew this could be because it was morning and it was my first pump after a three hour stretch of not nursing. Little did I know this was my first sign of being an over producer.

We went to my daughter’s first pediatric appointment and I met with a Lactation Consultant to discuss the painful nursing on my left side. Her latch still looked good, and they evaluated her for a tongue-tie yet again, which they said she wasn’t. I was just told to work on a good latch and to continue nursing. I also consulted a dear friend, co-worker, and neighbor of mine who I owe many, many thanks to for my constant questions. She was always willing to listen and answer my questions and even come over to my house to make sure my daughter had a good latch.

I continued my nursing journey and after a week with no improvement, I noticed I had oversupply as well as a fast let-down (my left side produces a lot more than my right side). With my research, I learned about nipple blanching and vasospasm, which stemmed from her initial bad latch (nipple trauma), but also from my daughter clamping down on my nipple while nursing as her way of coping with my fast let-down. She would frequently pull off while nursing on my left side because she was learning how to handle the sudden rush of milk she would get with my heavy and fast let-down. I decided I would solely pump my left side for 48 hours to try to heal the nipple trauma, and to give my nipple a break, and just feed her off my right side. When those 48 hours were up, it was time to nurse her on my left side again. To say I was nervous it was going to be painful again is an understatement, but to my surprise the pain was gone! It didn’t cure my fast let-down or oversupply (nothing will), but my nipple healed enough that when she did latch and clamp her mouth down to try to control my let-down, it was no longer painful! Hallelujah!

One month into our breastfeeding journey is when my first clogged duct appeared, which turned into mastitis. I would never wish this pain upon anyone, and I told my husband multiple times within these three painful days that I would rather have given birth without an epidural a million times, than to go through the pain of a clogged duct and mastitis. Despite all the remedies I tried, it took three days for my clogged duct to finally release and the pain to disappear. I was so afraid of my clogged duct and mastitis returning, that I pumped after every feeding as well as in the middle of the night even when my daughter was now sleeping through the night. Having oversupply already, this increased my supply even more. As the days and weeks went on and I was feeding on demand, I would still have clogged ducts two to three times a week, which were almost always relieved just by frequent nursing and hands on pumping.

Two months into our breastfeeding journey we were faced with yet another hurdle, Milk and Soy Protein Intolerance (MSPI). My daughter would have frequent blow out diapers, which then turned into her stools being green, watery, mucousy with the occasional streak of blood. Which you can imagine would scare any new mom seeing these in your new babies’ diaper! Thankfully after my daughter’s Pediatrician suggested I cut out dairy and soy products from my diet this was resolved. However, living in the dairy state and having to cut out dairy was very difficult, especially when dairy is a big staple of my diet and there is some sort of soy product in almost every food. I was told many times by friends and family to just stop breastfeeding because it would be easier, especially with my frequent clogged ducts and new dietary changes. This new change to my diet was a big lifestyle change for my husband and I, as we would frequently order dinner out on the weekend to have a break from our weeknight cooking. But, also let’s be honest, being new parents is exhausting so who has the energy to cook a healthy meal every night! Not all people were supportive of my desire to continue to breastfeed, but one person who was always there for me and supported my decision to continue was my husband. He understood every aspect of all my challenges and never once pushed me in either direction, but was there to support me through it all. He also understood that breastfeeding was something I cherish and having oversupply I couldn’t just abruptly stop; it would have to be gradual overtime. Three months into our breastfeeding journey and it was time for this new mom to leave her baby for the first time and return to my full-time career helping other mom’s. This was one of the hardest and most emotional days for me, as I’m sure any new working mom would tell you. I pumped religiously every three hours for my baby and would come home with 25-35 ounces (or more) of breastmilk each day. Many moms would envy being able to pump this much for their baby, but being an over producer is a blessing and a curse. I knew my baby would always have breast milk while I was away, but now that I was solely pumping for 12 hours a day, this was causing me to have clogged ducts almost every other day due to my oversupply and my pump not effectively emptying my breasts. To help relieve all my clogged ducts and with fear of them constantly returning I would pump religiously every three hours at work, then every night before bed and at least once if not twice during the night while my daughter was sleeping. I was continually able to freeze 25-40 ounces or more of milk each day, not including what I would send to daycare the next day. I was freezing so much I finally became an approved milk donor so I was able to provide for babies who could benefit from all my hard work, sweat, tears and sleepless nights.

Five months into our breastfeeding I was continuing to pump for my daughter, and I was just diagnosed with my third case of mastitis. I knew at this point something needed to change. Even though I had seen four different Lactation Consultants and IBCLC’s (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) I needed answers as to why I was continuing to have these issues. I made an appointment with one of the best IBCLC’s and physicians in the area, who started the Donor Milk Bank in my region of the country to hopefully get the answers I was desperately looking for. When the day of my appointment came, I couldn’t have been more excited to get answers as to why I was having recurrent clogged ducts and mastitis. She took the time to do a full evaluation of my history, breasts, my baby, watched my daughter nurse and pump. My daughter was diagnosed with a mild tongue-tie, which we were told she didn’t have, but since it was no longer causing issues, we left it alone. She discovered that all my issues were related to my oversupply, which I was doing more harm than good, with my continual pumping especially during at night. We came up with a plan to decrease my flange size and alter my pumping schedule with a backup plan of medications to try to help decrease my supply.

We are now 11 months into our breastfeeding journey, and I cannot believe my little girl is going to be one soon! From a painful latch, to recurrent mastitis and clogged ducts, making a significant change to my diet to benefit my daughter and to currently have donated 8000 ounces and counting (some to the milk bank and some to babies who have dairy intolerances/allergies). We have had our ups and downs to say the least, but I am so glad that we stuck with it, because I will forever cherish these moments that seem to go by way too fast. The bond and connection I feel with my daughter is something so special to me that I feel was only strengthened throughout our breastfeeding journey.

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What do you think about Dana’s story? We love how she selflessly pumped so that she could feed not only her own baby, but other babies - especially those with MSPI. Thanks for sharing Dana!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it here!

Sara's Breastfeeding Journey & Milk Protein Intolerance

Our story this week comes from Sara. Sara discovered that her daughter had a milk protein intolerance and shares how she had to not only make adjustments to her diet, but how it had an impact on her breastfeeding journey.

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I always knew I wanted to provide breastmilk for my baby for all its health and immune benefits, but as she grew bigger and the weeks passed by, the more I wanted to nurse. When our sweet girl, Abigail, was born, within that golden hour we were able to nurse for the very first time. She was a pro, right from the start. “You know most babies don’t do this, right? Nurse so well this early?” My labor and delivery and postpartum nurses were in awe. I felt like I hit the jackpot. I’m a first time mom with (obviously) no experience with nursing so thank goodness my baby was a nursing rockstar! Nursing those first few days and weeks at home were easy.  She had a great latch, an efficient suck and swallow, and was content between feeds. All was well. When my milk came in I dealt with engorgement and forceful letdown, but we battled through with some help; our lactation consultant told me that my little girl and I “made a great team.” I knew I had it easy. Nursing was such a joy, I vowed not to take it for granted.

Around 6-weeks-old, we went on our first family vacation, the annual beach trip. It was crazy, I know that now. Honestly, I can’t believe we travelled when she was that young, let alone doing a 6-hour car ride. It was stressful but all was going okay until the second day we were there. Suddenly, Abigail started screaming when I’d bring her near to nurse. She’d arch her back and push away. What was happening? Why was she acting this way? We had recently started introducing a bottle to help with my transition back to work in the next couple of months, so we decided I would pump and my husband would bottle-feed her. Now mind you, getting this girl to take a bottle was no piece of cake. We tried 4 different bottles, different positions, environments, you name it. This girl did not want a bottle. Yet here we were in this beach condo bedroom and she doesn’t want the breast? She wasn’t taking the bottle that great either, but at least she was eating. Our minds were racing. Was it something I ate? The stress of travel? Is she sick? No fever and she was otherwise acting normally so we powered through with her intermittently nursing and the other times, pumping and bottle-feeding. Once we got home she, thank God, nursed all day like nothing had changed. Phew! A nursing strike. Praise the Lord, it’s over. Except, it wasn’t.

Later that week (I know, we’re insane), we travelled again to visit family. All hell broke loose. She nursed maybe once when we first arrived, but then not one more time during our entire 4 days there. Still screaming at the breast and arching her back, but now also stopping to scream during bottle feeds. She was so fussy, so discontent. We knew something was wrong. Upon arriving home, I saw it: blood in her poopy diaper. A trip to the pediatrician confirmed what I knew she’d tell me -- Abigail has a milk protein intolerance. I eliminated dairy immediately, in all forms. Not just the obvious milk, cheese, butter … but all the “hidden” dairy in everything. I’m already gluten-free due to my own intolerance so going dairy-free too was a challenge, but I was determined. My concern shifted from “why won’t she nurse,” to “please let my baby just be well-nourished and not harmed by my milk.” Thankfully within a few days, Abigail was already eating more comfortably. Over the following weeks, the screaming and arching stopped and her stools returned to normal. My baby girl was healing. She’d had slow weight gain thus far but after a few weeks of being dairy-free, her weight shot up. She was finally absorbing nutrients, praise God!!

Abigail is now 8-months-old. After returning from that second trip, she nursed a handful of times, just a few minutes each, over the following weeks but ultimately refused the breast altogether. So, for the past 6 months I’ve been exclusively pumping. It’s been hard, emotional, and so humbling. I miss nursing her so much. Yet, I know what a blessing it is to still be able to provide nutrition to my baby through my breastmilk. Moreover, I’ve been able to donate my milk to 2 other babies in need, and my husband and family members have been able to share in the connection and tenderness that lies within feeding our baby girl. These things are gifts. For me personally, though, the greatest gift is the work this journey has done in my heart. Before her breast refusal, I held so much of my worth in my success in nursing. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was an idol to me. Truthfully, even though my breastfeeding journey has not been at all what I hoped or envisioned, I’m so grateful that idol was torn down. It has been painful, but it has taught me to have faith when you don’t understand, and to find peace and rest in the Lord. It has shown me that as a mother, there is so much that is out of your control. It has shown me that sometimes things end before you’re ready for them to, and even though it wasn’t my choice, I can still decide to honor the chooser (in this case, Abigail) and serve them in their choice. It has shown me that I am not alone. Through this journey my husband has been with me every step of the way, supporting and encouraging me, as well as my family, friends, and workplace who always make sure I have a comfortable place to pump and safe food to eat. I have connected with so many moms who are going through their own trials and victories. We’ve shared stories, tricks, and wisdom; the encouragement these women have given me is immeasurable. Lastly, it has shown me that even in my weakness, I am strong in Christ.

Our journey isn’t yet over. I’m still pumping for my baby girl and I still continue to pray that she will return to nursing. But even if she doesn’t, I’m so grateful for it all.  Whatever your journey looks like, however it unfolds and whenever it ends, it is beautiful and it is a blessing.

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What do you think of Sara’s story? We think she did an awesome job at providing for her daughter, even through some non-ideal circumstances. And she allowed those times to teach her some great lessons in life! Thank you for sharing Sara!

Would you like to share your breastfeeding story our blog? Submit it here!